Get over it

July 24, 2006 at 4:09 pm (Society)

This is probably one of the sentences rape survivors encounter the most. So i think it’s worth being examined.

This phrase can have two meanings:

The first one is desperation. It’s not meant to hurt but shows that the person doesn’t know what to do to help the other one. It’s like telling someone with Anorexia nervosa to eat more – just won’t work cause it’s not that easy. Like a caring mother (or father) who sees that her daughter suffers though she tries everything to make her feel comfortable.

The second one is purely negative. It’s a sign of annoyance. The goal is not to make the survivor feel better but the person who says “Get over it”. The difference to the first meaning is obvious: The caring one wants the survivor and himself to feel better. It is in a way psychological abuse. The survivor’s welfare is not regarded as important as your own. Is the survivor supposed to feel guilty due to the fact of “annoying” another person? The answer is clearly No – If the person feels annoyed he should either leave or try to help instead of trying to suppress other people’s feelings due to laziness and/or a lack of respect. Why respecting someone who doesn’t respect you and cares for your well-being? This would be nothing else than an abusive relationship!

Sure, sometimes it’s hard to determine which meaning “Get over it” has but i think it’s worth thinking about it instead of just feeling bad. Whenever someone tells you to “Get over it” (Or “Why don’t you just forget about it”, etc.) with the second meaning you should know that there’s somebody annoying – the guy who told you to get over it.

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